Things

I've not written in here in a VERY long time. I suppose partially cause of how busy things have been at New Haven. I think some of it cause I've never been very good at expressing myself in a written format. I always have trouble thinking of how to put my thoughts into words. If that makes ANY sort of sense. I'm not sure it does. So yeah, for a bit Josh was letting me use his blog to post. Namely as a way for us all to keep better in touch when we were scattered from New Haven (what I was calling the compound). But I've not written anything since I've gotten back.

I've been feeling lonely. Heck, I've felt that way since I got here. I just always kept myself busy so I'd not notice. But in the minutes before sleep, I think about things. I wonder if any of my other friends are out there. If they are still alive. I wonder about Jen. Me and her weren't quite dating when this all happened but we still cared for each other. Now, here it is years later and I wonder how she is. I keep debating on going out to look for her, and maybe some others I know were around.

I know it'd be foolish and almost certainly dangerous for me to do. I know that in leaving New Haven would lose a teacher. But honestly, I think I've taught enough to others that they can spread those teachings to others. I already was getting Philip set up to be my replacement, so maybe he'll be able to handle things if I go.

I need to talk to Josh about this. See if he has any sort of advice. The man always seems to have an opinion on something. So maybe he can give me a bit of clarity in this. I should probably talk to Jess too. She's about as close to a friend as I have in this place anymore.

I think about all the people who've died here since I've arrived. Darlene, Little David, Roger, and now Mason. I miss them. Even though I never really got to know them very well, there was small things they did and I miss those small things. 

Anyways, I guess I'll stop yammering on here and go make the rounds, talk to some people. See how people feel about this prospect of me leaving.